Call Off The Dogs!!!

The amount of subtle trash talk that I have been subjected to these first two weeks is appalling. It's hard to believe that Denise Hole(y)-Moley would make outlandish statements rubbing in her victory over me such as "Did I win?", and "Can you show me how to set a lineup?" This is a wolf in hole's clothing with her snarky digs. I know she practically invented the game of fantasy football. I know for a fact (no I don't) that she sold Jim Sorgi's house and he gave her inside information on who to draft (no he didn't). 

I figured in week two that I would get the respect I deserve as Crommissioner from a judge. Boy was I wrong. (The Honorable) Stephenie Lemay-RUDEken sent some extremely insensitive remarks my way earlier today. The text of which was something about a District Governor, new members, and a bake sale. Seems harmless until you read between the lines and realize she's really saying "Not only can you not govern your team, you need new players, and your team is toast!"

It's time to not only right the ship but take a stand against the barrage of barbs being sent my way. To help call off the dogs I will be changing my name from The Four Way Best to Doug Catt's Dog Cattchers. 

For those in the league wanting an update on their team... I have no idea how your team is doing. 

-Your Crommissioner

Minutes Minutiae

Yesterday was an exciting day for me, as it was my first accepted opportunity to watch the greatest minds of rotary mapping out a plan for our Rotary futures.

I'm not sure what I expected from this meeting... but I do know what I was hoping for. Have you ever seen British Parliament? Yeah that's what I was hoping for. Picture Tracie Schwarzenneger-Shearer pleading her case that the Mayberry stop serving so many carbs with their meals. Brad Baby-Bjorn firing back that because of Tracie he's wasting so much dessert now that people are going halfsies on his offerings (because not having dessert at all is NOT an option). Eric Oliver-Cline keeps screaming about his intentions to adopt the fledgling Amo Rotary Chapter, while Rex Champion-Dugan sleeps (sockless of course) in the back.  The Honorable Stephenie LeMay-Luken (the judge) is contstantly banging her gavel for order and The Honorable David Judge-Coleman (the judge) puts his head in his hands wondering where it all went wrong. 

In reality what I saw was a bunch of motions to accept things, motions to move on from things, plenty of seconds to the motions, a few items calmly ironed out. Schwarzenneger-Shearer wasn't upset about anything, LeMay-Luken didn't even bring her gavel. Rex was however asleep in the back. It was all very practical, efficient and calm. My visions of a reality television series surrounding our Rotary Club took a hit yesterday for sure. I'm guessing Avon's Board Meetings are far more like the Wild West. They don't even have a town square!

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Today we celebrate the many musical stylings that the Danville Rotary is connected with. It seems like every time you turn around there's a rotarian talking about what concert he or she is going to or has just attended. Our meetings have a musical flavor even when it's not intentional. This week's presentation was brought to you by Hendricks Regional Health and was about being active. It led me to do the insane action of signing up for a ballroom dancing class at the Hospital (where I will undoutdedly find myself staying)... so would anyone like to take my wife to a ballroom dancing class?

Honestly though our rotarians are very passionate about their music. We go to the Royal Theater concerts, Symphony on the Prairie, the County Fair concerts, etc... and we're so diverse in our interests. Take for instance the difference in tastes from two of our own. Terry TeaKay-Kessinger is big on the Beatles music being played at Conner Prairie. The lyrics of one of their most famous songs: “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. Contrast that with Stephenie LeMay-Luken's favorite "musician" Brett Michaels: "Unskinny bop, just blows me away. Unskinny bop bop, all night and day. Unskinny bop bop bop bop, she just loves to play. Unskinny bop nothin' more to say". If only that were true.

I'm not here to judge which is better, but I will give you pause for our future. The lyrics to my daughter's current favorite song are "Fire up your loud, another round of shots..... TURN DOWN FOR WHAT. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT." Those are literally the only words to the song. 

Hopefully the band tonight at Summer Sounds on the Square will not cover that song. Stop by the rotary booth and buy some pizza & pepperoni breadsticks. If you can find Tracie TraiNer-Shearer she will buy the first round of shots. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?

Seth Crommissioner-Cromer

The King is Dead. Long Live the Queen!

Yes another Rotary Year has passed, and with it the reign of Bockstahler. Beginning with the formation of 237 different committees to ease the burden of Presidency, it was certainly a year of changes and accomplishment. Due in part to so many people lending a hand the Danville Rotary was able to go on trips together, have drinks at precisely 5:31 in the afternoon, award scholarships, create a secondary corps of volunteers, and single-handedly prevent a polio outbreak in Hendricks County. 

While those are all significant accomplishments, the Bockstahler era's lasting impression will undoubtedly be this.

Sad as it may be to see the fastest talking President in recent memory go (hopefully not literally if home listings are to be believed), a new era is rising. The year of the hyphen is upon us. No official word yet on the rumors about LeMay-Luken demanding all rotarians hyphenate their names for at least this year just to see how things go. A little background on our new Prez that I'm sure you were not aware of. Did you know she's a judge? Did you know she's excited about Brett Michaels coming to town? That's pretty much all the background that's necessary. Looking forward to a great year, and let's make sure we keep the streak alive and keep polio out of Hendricks County again this year!

Seth CroMmissioner-Cromer